The Battlefield

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Soon-to-be Revealed Obama Scandals

It wasn’t easy but I managed to find a copy of Sean Hannity’s programming for next year. It was safely wedged between Alt-Right bumper stickers and KFC body spray in the dumpster behind Fox News. What? Of course, I tried the body spray. Crispy smells way better grilled.

 

Obama Planned to Replace Armed Forces with Legions of Poets.

Some would already say he did. Transgender liberals wielding notebooks filled with un-American haiku? That’s what our underfunded gender-inclusive fighting force has succumbed to. Attack your enemy with words and melt resistance in their hearts. It almost worked too, until they discovered poetry sounded better in Arabic.

Obama Fired James Comey.

Definitely a sticking point in Mueller’s investigation into obstruction of justice is Trump’s firing of Comey. How great would it be if Obama had done it? And Obama was the one under investigation? And we could retroactively impeach him? Expect several lengthy exposes on why Obama colluded with Russia and had his daughters meet a Putin lachey in Trump Tower. Did we say Trump Tower? We meant Obama Tower. But Trump’s is bigger. Way bigger.

Obama Killed JFK… with Help from Ted Cruz’s Father.

His assault on democracy began in utero! Or when he was two, depending on your math. But he would make a cute baby distraction for Ted Cruz’s dad to show while he set up his sniper in the grassy knoll. As to how he got baby Barack from Hawaii is anyone’s guess. I suspect Sean Hannity will spend several weeks on the topic.

Banned Words

The EPA was recently banned from using seven words. Among them were: “fetus,” “transgender,” “diversity,” “vulnerable,” “science-based,” “evidence-based,” and “entitlement.”

I decided to create a poem with all seven.

***

~

He yells like a fetus

Afraid of pissing

In foxholes

 

Because genitals will

Lose the war

 

If improvised explosives

Burst on contact with

 

Transgenders or diversity.

 

Rifle fire and survival

Make us vulnerable

To evidence-based

Hatred.

 

Lies are spent with

Shells and truth

Reloaded with more

Casings

 

There is no science-

Based on such intolerance

 

That we refuse to die beside

Those of different genders

Or complexions.

 

Only a deep-state

Entitlement.

___

© Ben Ditmars 2017

Fire and the Fury

i have been busy
writing poetry by sight
and sound – observing
fire and the fury
without words –

somehow less is more
than we deserve,
another Vicodin replacing cigarettes

when death is near enough
to Bedminster, Mar a Lago or
his tower –

it will be a national emergency.

___

© Ben Ditmars 2017

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Image Source: Flickr

Revelation

i consumed the jabs

at my demeanor, because

i knew no other way

~

now others risk

self-worth to wash their hands

or take a piss?

~

it ends, humiliation in all forms,

or hell begins.

___

© Ben Ditmars 2017

kim

Photograph by Kim Stapf

Powerpuff Yourself Stereotypes

I messed around with an avatar and GIF creator called Powerpuff yourself. It’s where you make yourself into one of the characters from the cartoon Powerpuff Girls on Cartoon Network. It got me thinking, though. If I intentionally made four racial stereotypes and mixed them with five randomly generated, could others tell which? I guess it’s a test to see how color and/or race blind we are. See how you do.

rs10

Answers from top left: 2, 5, 6, 7
(3 is a blank model)