After the horrific events at Stoneman Douglas I began a letter writing campaign. Each day for seventeen days I would write my congressmen about a victim from the school demanding preventative action. I tried to write each day, imagining the pain of losing students or family members. Instead, I learned something personal about Miguel, Joaquin, Cara, Carmen, Aaron, Alaina, Nicholas, Alyssa, Alex, Gina, Jaime, Scott, Peter, Chris, Luke, Meadow and Helena. Whether it was Meadow’s ambition to attend Lynn University in the fall or Helena saving her friend’s life by telling her to get a book and protect herself, these fourteen students and three teachers will always be remembered. We owe it to them and their sacrifice to not forget.
Category: journal
Famous Quotes Re-imagined with Love: Part 2
A few years ago I wrote a post about famous quotes re imagined with one or two letters changed. The purpose was to convey a meaning of love where there was not necessarily one before. I decided to continue this in in what I’m calling Part 2. Enjoy.
“I came, I saw, I loved.”
– Gaius Julius Caesar
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“Love is what happens when language fails.”
– Margaret Atwood
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“Only love has seen the end of war.”
― Plato
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“The supreme art of love is to subdue the enemy without fighting.”
― Sun Tzu, The Art of War
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“Never think that love, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime.”
― Ernest Hemingway, Ernest Hemingway: A Literary Reference
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“In times of war, the love falls silent.”
― Marcus Tullius Cicero
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“and when all love has ended, a butterfly will still be beautiful.”
― Ruskin Bond, Scenes from a Writer’s Life
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“To me, love is like the new boss who expects the impossible. He stands over your shoulder repeating one thin, incessantly: ‘Get it done, get it done.’ So you work harder. You get the job done. The boss, however, does not thank you. He asks for more.”
― Markus Zusak, The Book Thief
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“Every man should lose love in his youth, so he does not lose love when he is old.”
― George R.R. Martin, A Feast for Crows
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“Was there ever a love where only one side bled?”
― George R.R. Martin, A Clash of Kings
New Journal #poetry
Obama Paper Dolls
I went to my first white elephant gift exchange this past week. Let’s just say there was an interesting assortment of gifts: giant, boot shaped candles, singing lobsters and a Justin Bieber poster to name a few. I had my eye on something special, however.
I saw in the distance, a light part in the heavens. Lo! The founding fathers called out to me and said, “Ben, you must have this ridiculous depiction of Obama and his many suits.”
Thus, like a cat hidden beneath an azalea bush, I waited for my moment to pounce. And believe it or not, I did not have to trade anything at all for this gem. I got to see the current President in a more revealing fashion than I thought possible or necessary.
The little voice in my head that should have told me “stop” let me keep cutting these out.
Isn’t he dapper?
I’m not entirely sure what happened here. But I didn’t see a very good template for Michelle Obama. I do think Barack wears the hell out of this dress, though.
Sometimes the Secret Service tries different disguises.
And isn’t this one just cute?
Anyway, I feel like I made out like a bandit at this gift exchange and I’m excited for next year. Hopefully, I get first crack at that Bieber poster.
Ditmars Mystery Theater
Many years ago when I was growing up my grandmother read me, my brother, and my sister pages from a book with no title and no author. We never bother asking about it because we were kids and assumed, wrongly, that every child had the same book. Years passed, we lost grandma, and grandpa fell ill.
We found pages from the stories grandma read in a manila envelope. Whether she left it in the desk drawer or grandpa put it there we never got the chance to ask.
Having nothing to go on but words and titles from stories, Google offered few results. It took a few years before anything was found. I discovered the stories were from an author named Agnes Grozier Hebertson and the book was titled Sing Song Stories. There wasn’t much else and it was long since out of print.
It took another two years and the help of my librarian friend Sam Dailey to find a bookseller overseas with a copy. I am extremely grateful and hope these stories from my childhood help keep my grandparent’s memory alive and well.
Powerpuff Yourself Stereotypes
I messed around with an avatar and GIF creator called Powerpuff yourself. It’s where you make yourself into one of the characters from the cartoon Powerpuff Girls on Cartoon Network. It got me thinking, though. If I intentionally made four racial stereotypes and mixed them with five randomly generated, could others tell which? I guess it’s a test to see how color and/or race blind we are. See how you do.
(3 is a blank model)
My Gameplan for the Apocalypse
Since everyone is doing it, I thought it right to detail my plans for the end of society. What’s that? Of course, it’s vogue. If there’s one thing it’s Ben Ditmars knows, it’s what’s vogue. And if there are two things I know, it’s probably how off-putting third-person portrayals can be. Regardless, in the events that follow, I will have a full-proof survival strategy: unless Pet Rocks arrive from the ’80s with revenge in their hearts.
- Zombie or Large-Scale Epidemic
Assuming the Umbrella Corporation buys Dow Chemicals or acquires a massive government contract, we can expect human experimentation that will lead to murderous monsters. It’s just good business. And my chance at living out the future my adolescence prepared me for. How would I survive? There wouldn’t be near enough bullets or hedge clippers to go Tallahassee from the movie Zombieland. I would have to improvise and cure all the deformed hippies being vagrants in my yard. First, I would go to the medicine cabinet and find the rubbing alcohol. Then scream about cotton balls. Why are they never where I left them? Once I tore the bathroom apart like the undead monsters I want to re-kill, the alcohol goes on the cotton balls. Then, BAM! I stand on the roof and huck them at passing brain Nazis. You know it will work, because rubbing alcohol is good at killing bacteria – and probably the T-Virus. - Asteroid or Comet Collision
There aren’t many places you can hide when the earth has angry sex with a space rock. My initial reaction might be to seek high ground as the oceans engulf my last hope for Chicken McNuggets (I don’t miss them now, but I know after the earth has descended into eternal darkness I will want the flavor only processed meat dipped in ranch dressing can provide). My best bet? I’ve long suspected the highest setting on my ceiling fan has a greater purpose than shaking the walls like a demonic helicopter. Obviously the creators of this contraption never intended any mere mortal to pull the cord three times. If I so dare (an am worthy of this Zeus-like power) the upward force of my fan should push the asteroid to another unsuspecting solar system, preferably without fans of their own. - Trump Becoming President
The Donald receiving the Republican nomination for President of the United States is scary enough, let alone him actually fitting his hair into Oval Office. There is an easier solution than living under a demagogue bent on denying basic freedoms to Muslims and women. Mexico pays to build the wall… around Trump. Think about it: Trump gets to rant all he wants and we don’t have to hear him speak. His supporters can hop in Cask of Amontilado style as we brick them in. They can even go down in the manner of Pharoahs with their life-size love-dolls of David Duke and copies of Mein Kampf.
Highlights of 2015
2015 has all but come and gone. Let’s take a look at some of the headlines that made it happen:
10. Adele is the Oprah of music. (I see the Adele Network in her future.)
9. Gwen Stefani realized for the first time since she hated me that she used to love me. (Because Used to Love You has Ben Ditmars written all over it.)
8. Secure servers do not refer to beach volleyball. Politicians should not shout their personal information across the court while playing. (Yes. That means you, Hillary.)
7. ISIS is a terrorist organization. The CIA suspects its supporters enjoy Faygo and responding to, “whoop, whoop” calls. Please report any and all insane clown activities.
6. Muslims ban all billionaire blowhards with fake hair. Oh, wait.
5. Bruce Jenner becomes first Kardashian woman with accomplishments. The world quickly implodes.
4. The Force Awakens… as do Furries with a Wookie fetish.
3. Despite recent Supreme Court decision, Katniss does not marry Greasy Sae in Hunger Games. Peeta rejoices and bakes bread.
2. The Dab and Nay Nay continue to perplex older white men.
1. Clemson coach Swinney refuses comment on demon butcher accusations. (But we all know he served more than pizza to the fans.)
The Midnight Writer 