Highlights of 2015

2015 has all but come and gone. Let’s take a look at some of the headlines that made it happen:

10. Adele is the Oprah of music.  (I see the Adele Network in her future.)

9. Gwen Stefani realized for the first time since she hated me that she used to love me. (Because Used to Love You has Ben Ditmars written all over it.)

8. Secure servers do not refer to beach volleyball. Politicians should not shout their personal information across the court while playing. (Yes. That means you, Hillary.)

7. ISIS is a terrorist organization. The CIA suspects its supporters enjoy Faygo and responding to, “whoop, whoop” calls. Please report any and all insane clown activities.

6. Muslims ban all billionaire blowhards with fake hair. Oh, wait.

5. Bruce Jenner becomes first Kardashian woman with accomplishments. The world quickly implodes.

4. The Force Awakens… as do Furries with a Wookie fetish.

3. Despite recent Supreme Court decision, Katniss does not marry Greasy Sae in Hunger Games. Peeta rejoices and bakes bread.

2. The Dab and Nay Nay continue to perplex older white men.

1. Clemson coach Swinney refuses comment on demon butcher accusations. (But we all know he served more than pizza to the fans.)

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